


Never Been This Bare

by spellwatch642



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, this was supposed to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 19:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13747782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spellwatch642/pseuds/spellwatch642
Summary: At some point, Nadia stops believing things will be okay.





	Never Been This Bare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bare Discord Buddies](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Bare+Discord+Buddies).



> My first decent-ish writing after like two years thank God I finally did something

She is 12 when she meets her.

With dark hair down to her waist, the most beautiful blue eyes she’s ever seen and a spotlight smile, Ivy Robinson is without a doubt the prettiest girl Nadia has ever seen.

And she hates it.

 

Nadia is a McConnell and in their house, there is one rule to be followed – provide for yourself. Her mom and dad barely talked to each other. They barely talked to her and Jason, so they had plenty of time to learn how to follow that rule.

McConnells are perfect – they go to Church, they always look presentable and clean. McConnells are perfect and their girls don’t call other girls pretty. They compete with them and crush them.

So Nadia takes the advice and from the first day, she tells Ivy off. Not sure what for, but she does it.

 

For the next few years, Nadia insults her however she can. For her clothes. For her gaming skills at the Arcade. For the way she acts around Jason (a whole other story for Nadia) and the amount of boys she hooks up with.

But when Ivy tells her one night, desperately that she might be pregnant, Nadia’s walls go down. Just for one night, they are gone and Nadia looks at Ivy with something new – compassion.

Ivy throws herself in Nadia’s arms and cries, she keeps talking about how she is only 16 and she can’t handle it.

Nadia’s heart sinks.

She doesn’t say anything, she just keeps whispering it’ll be okay.

 

Not that she believes it.

 

Then Ivy looks up at her, finally done crying and slowly, she presses their lips together. Nadia lets herself have this one thing, this one moment and finally, she returns the kiss.

It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth and it feels wrong.

When the test turns out to be negative, she simply says “Congratulations Ivy, you can keep banging whoever comes your way!” and moves on. No hugs. Definitely no kisses.

 

And so Nadia becomes worse. She takes more opportunities to insult Ivy. She tries everything to push her away. Hell, she even tries to sabotage her hook ups.

 

Yet Ivy never returns it.

She just gives her the same shy smile when she comes back to their room from class or confessional or whatever and says “Hi,” for whatever reason.

It makes Nadia want to scream. _Do something Ivy. Just insult me. Just say something._

Ivy never does except for maybe three comebacks in a year. Nadia counts.

Nadia never understands why she does it anyway, so she considers just stopping. What harm could being nice do?

 

She can’t.

 

Until one night when Lucas looks at her and softly says, “Nadia, do you maybe like Ivy?”

“What are you talking about?” she replies.

“Nadia,” he says, “I think you’re gay.”

Nadia feels dizzy and nauseous and even enlightened at the same time because everything makes sense but also nothing makes sense and suddenly her life is a bigger mess.

And then she cries out years of frustration on his shoulder as her keeps whispering it’ll be alright the same way she once did to Ivy.

 

Senior year is the worst.

 

She gets to play the Nurse (big surprise) and she is sure that will be the worst part of the year.

Nadia has never been more wrong.

By the end of the year, she finds herself empty, without the one person she cared about the most and now Ivy really is pregnant and everything is somehow a bigger mess.

 

Nadia didn’t know that was possible, really.

 

Before she knows it, she is packing to go back to their – her home. It will feel empty, she knows it.

Not like it was ever warm and full of love anyway.

She only gives quick goodbyes to Peter, Tanya, Kyra and Lucas and while she doesn’t _fully_ blame him, Nadia can’t bring herself to face Matt.

 

The door opens and Nadia doesn’t turn around to see who it is.

“I’m sorry,” she hears Ivy say. Slowly, she turns around and faces her, eyes red from crying, looking more tired than ever.

Nadia thinks she is still gorgeous, even as a complete mess and it’s really unfair.

“What for?” Because honestly, Nadia doesn’t know what Ivy ever did. Nothing, that’s what Ivy did.

“It was my fault too. I put this on him. He already had so much in mind.”

Nadia’s expression softens.

Being horrible with words, she just holds Ivy, who starts to cry almost immediately.

 

And once again, Nadia finds herself whispering to her that it will be okay. And then, Ivy pulls away slowly, finally done crying. She looks in her eyes and the scene feels too familiar to Nadia.

And then Ivy kisses Nadia the same way she had years ago – tenderly.

And this time, this time Nadia allows herself to deepen it. She deepens it and she holds Ivy close.

 

When they finally break apart, out of breath, Ivy is already tearing up again.

 

“Thank you,” she manages to whisper, her voice almost completely gone from all the crying and screaming.

Nadia only gives her a small nod before grabbing her suitcase and leaving the room.

 

And the moment she steps out, she realizes one thing – she will never get to see Ivy again.

Pushing away the thoughts and feelings it brings her, she makes her way to the car outside waiting for her.

 

“Are you all set, Nadia?” their driver asks her once they are both settled.

“All set.”

“And you, Ja—“ He stops himself from completing the sentence.

Nadia doesn’t say anything and instead puts her headphones on and blasts some show tune she is too tired and distracted to recognize.

 

At least she won’t have to talk for the next three hours.


End file.
